The Dwarf Returns
Bill O'Turdly @ February 28, 2007 # 2 Comments
Back by popular demand and reved up for his upcoming TOAS, Dancing with The Stars appearance, we give you the dancing midget, properly called a dwarf.
Adrian Zmed Confirmed
Bill O'Turdly @ February 27, 2007 # No Comment Yet
TOAS has confirmed that Adrian Zmed, former host of Dance Fever, has signed up to appear in TOAS, Dancing with the Stars. Citing years of obscurity and being confused for Ricardo Montalban, the 53 year old actor issued this statement.
“I was just tired of people coming up and asking me about soft Corinthian leather. [...]
Britney and Lindsay
Bill O'Turdly @ February 26, 2007 # One Comment
TOAS has confirmed a Steel Cage Grudge Match between Lindsay Lohan and the bald Britney Spears. The event, which will support a charity of each celebrity’s choice, will take place once both Lindsay and Britney are out of rehab and cleared to wrestle.
The actual date of the event is still uncertain, but TOAS has also [...]
Turd on a Stick’s ‘Dancing with the Stars’ 2007 Lineup
Turd Furgeson @ February 26, 2007 # 9 Comments
Everybody deserves a second chance at stardom. At least that’s the message “Dancing with the Stars” is trying to impress on the world. We at TOAS couldn’t agree more. What better way to dredge up pathetic wannabe celebrities than letting them sizzle, fizzle and get snuffed out like a back alley hooker on the dance [...]
Colonel Fuzz E. Butt
Bill O'Turdly @ February 26, 2007 # 2 Comments
Looking for a new hero in the Middle East we offer you
Col. Fuzz E. Butt, Ret.
The foul, the phew, the manured. This patriotic poop is one tough turd. Whether it’s in the halls of Montezuma’s Revenge or in the hills of Tripoopli, he is first to defend his country’s right to poop freely.
Turd Birds
Cheney and Howard Admit They Like to Wear Women’s Underwear
Bill O'Turdly @ February 25, 2007 # 2 Comments
Dick Cheney and John Howard have admitted they like to wear women’s underwear and prance around cross dressing like J. Edgar Hoover. In a joint press briefing in Canberra, they reconfirmed their love of Texas Tea. Jokingly, a reporter yelled out “tea bag him Dick.” This brought out some laughter as Dick belted out one [...]
Investment Opportunities
Bill O'Turdly @ February 24, 2007 # 3 Comments
Looking to invest, say a few million dollars.
Look no further! Iraq Suppliers provides a definitive ‘one-stop shop’ from which greedy western investors and greedy Iraqis (who are keen to sell their country), can source company information for the supply of equipment, materials and contract partners. With comprehensive lists of industries and companies to [...]
Monica, The Main Event
Bill O'Turdly @ February 23, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Continuing our ongoing expose into the undiscovered talents of drag karaoke, we give this vintage footage.
TOAS Exclusive: Bush Speech Leaked
Bill O'Turdly @ February 22, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Good evening my fellow Americans.
We have to discuss Iraq today and we have to help North Korea securitize the dismantling the dismantled nuclear warheads in Afghanistan and beyond. We certainly have a firm commitment to Europe. We are subliminally a part of Europe. It’s important in Afghanistan and beyond. We, we’re a nation of law. [...]
TOAS - Deer Turd
Bill O'Turdly @ February 21, 2007 # 3 Comments
Unless you’ve been living under a rock that is itself under a larger rock– or you’re not a TOAS fan– the TOAS story should have a folkloric familiarity to you. To read a blog or webzine in 2007 is to hear the tale of two brave lads from Philly and Detroit who bypassed the Byzantine [...]
GHFIHGP, The New Alliance
Bill O'Turdly @ February 20, 2007 # No Comment Yet
This just in: Tim Hardaway and Donnie Davies have formed an alliance against gay people called God Hates Fags, I Hate Gay People (GHFIHGP).
Dinar, Anyone?
Bill O'Turdly @ February 20, 2007 # No Comment Yet
This is just messed up, no other way to describe it. International Currency Trading LLC is a professional company that is registered with the U.S. Departmnent of State to sell the new Iraqi Dinar online.
Yes, step right up and get a piece of Iraq and while you are at it, pick up the new Haliburton [...]