Jesus’ Last Words
Bill O'Turdly @ April 30, 2007 # No Comment Yet
JERUSALEM — Archaeologists have uncovered a new found scripture, which documents Jesus’ last words.
Hootie and the Turdfish
Bill O'Turdly @ April 30, 2007 # One Comment
We know it is an easy target, but it has to be done.
Opium, A Cash Crop
Bill O'Turdly @ April 29, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Hemland province in Afghanistan is now set to become the country’s leading supply of opium, surpassing all the lush land under control of the US backed Northern Alliance. Lawmakers from Britain, with the help of their Afghan cronies, are now trying to convince farmers in Hemland to grow another crop.
On the other hand, America would [...]
Thailand Kicking Big Pharmaceutical Ass
Bill O'Turdly @ April 28, 2007 # One Comment
Thailand’s health minister Mongkol na Songkhla is kicking some serious pharmaceutical ass. Thus far in his short but effective tenure, Dr Mongkol has done what any sensible health minister should do: namely making drugs affordable for common people.
Which in turn has lead the greedy fat fucks who run the pharmaceutical industry accuse Thailand of [...]
LA Times Sports Columnist Is a Transexual
Bill O'Turdly @ April 27, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Mike Penner has been a sports writer for the LA Times for nearly 23 years. In a statement saying that his brain has been wired as woman’s brain, Penner said he would now like to be known as Christine Daniels.
After informing his boss, Randy Harvey, of the change, Harvey leaned back in his chair, looked [...]
Simon and Turdfunkel
Turd Furgeson @ April 27, 2007 # No Comment Yet
This excerpt from AllMusicGuide:
….the duo’s partnership began to weaken in the late ’60s. They had known each other most of their lives, and been performing together for over a decade. Simon began to feel constrained by the limits of working with the same collaborator; Turdfunkel, who wrote virtually none of the material, felt overshadowed by [...]
If We Were Serious and Articulate We Would Write Stuff Like This
Turd Furgeson @ April 26, 2007 # No Comment Yet
I agree with Patriot Boy when he says that The Rebublic of T. has his nail on the head with the post: The Queer Thing about School Shooters.
Instead we make/have a laugh at guys like Donnie Davies.
The Lizard Turd
Bill O'Turdly @ April 25, 2007 # 3 Comments
Come on, touch me babe. Can’t you see that I am not afraid? What was that promise you made? Trying to set the night on fire. What a fucking poet! Jim Morrison: The Lizard Turd!
Academic Breaks Unwritten Rule
Bill O'Turdly @ April 24, 2007 # One Comment
SYDNEY - A leading academic in the field of discourse analysis has broken an unwritten rule of English: using the words Kylie and poetry in the same sentence. During a recent lecture, a professor, at the University of Sydney, recounted an experience of his watching a Kylie Minogue concert video and said “to us, watching [...]
My Favorite Ex-Superpower-Leader is Gone
Turd Furgeson @ April 23, 2007 # One Comment
Every once in a while comes a world leader that’s such fun to have at parties, all his policies are instantly forgotten.
Boris Yeltsin could have beaten a kitten to death with the severed arm of a displaced Palestinian, and all would of been forgotten the following weekend after he got drunk at a state dinner [...]
I Must Be the Only Person Left on Earth Without an iPod
Turd Furgeson @ April 23, 2007 # No Comment Yet
The crazy thing is I didn’t even notice the AK-47 or the frisbee stuck in her bottom lip before I looked at the iPod and wondered, is that the 80gb one?