Bill O'Turdly @ May 29, 2007 # No Comment Yet
At this point you are probably wondering why we haven’t paid out any Socialists or Marxists, and it is a good question. It seems that we have over looked the whole pamphlet giving, frail, pasty skinned pinko crowd. Don’t worry, we just overlooked this all too easy target.
While I was walking about on King [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ May 28, 2007 # No Comment Yet
We here at Turd on a Stick are offering you free airfare to Bangkok, Thailand.
All you have to do is frame Bill O’Reilly in a cheap hotel room with at least an eight ball of cocaine, two prostitutes and some animals of your choice preforming lewd and obscene sexual acts.
The winner will receive free airfare [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ May 27, 2007 # No Comment Yet
LOS ANGELES — Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday after her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible struck a curb, and investigators found what they believed was cocaine at the scene, police said.
After her arrest, TOAS gained and exclusive statement from Miss Lohan’s publicist that said “Miss Lohan is so desperately [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ May 25, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Yahoo in its infinite wisdom has decided to provide US university students with some advice on playing the student loan game to win. However we here at TOAS have already beaten Yahoo to the punch. For those of you who missed our hearftelt advice the first time, we offer you this:
Take out as much [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ May 23, 2007 # No Comment Yet
WASHINGTON - Seeking to rally support for the war, President Bush is pointing to U.S. intelligence asserting that the goddamn top “Dirty Tree Fucker” ordered a top lieutenant in early 2005 to form a Dirty Tree Fucker faction to hit targets outside Iraq, and that the United States should be first in his sights.
The information, [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ May 21, 2007 # One Comment
If you are having a house party, you must invite Turd and Play.
Turd Furgeson @ May 20, 2007 # 2 Comments
Just received this from some nut on our TOAS myspace site. Yes we are on myspace. Anyway it seems a poor blogger was left behind. Access to the internet but a sad lack of education, all to common in these turbulent times.
Here’s the message:
Hey Handsome.
How are you doing today prince?I hope everything is good with [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ May 19, 2007 # One Comment
CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIA — After conquering the world of portable media players for infidels, Apple boss Steve Jobs has unveiled the iBomb, which Jobs characterized as a “multi-function portable media player for Islamic extremists.” The Apple boss continued by saying that he wanted “to open Apple’s iPod [the leading brand of portable media players] to a [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ May 18, 2007 # No Comment Yet
LOS ANGELES — Paris Hilton has won the first ever TOAS Dancing with the Stars. The 26 year old heiress beat a star studded field of has been actors and a homophobic former NBA player to receive the first prestigious Turd on a Stick award. Miss Hilton cited all of her drunken dancing at parties [...]
Turd Furgeson @ May 17, 2007 # One Comment
You know how parents cringe every tme their two year old says something incredibly direct, yet offensive?
I imagine that’s much how God viewed Jerry. In case you can’t remember, here are a few classic quotes from the bigot:
“Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions”
“If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ May 16, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Well, one of our favorite fascists, Paul Wolfowitz, a chief architect of American hegemonic ambitions, is in quite a pickle. It seems that Mr Wolfowitz has been caught scheming to secure a pay raise for his girlfriend, Shaha Riza who probably used to work at the World Bank until Mr Wolfowitz was busted.
Earlier on Tuesday, [...]
