Bill O'Turdly @ December 28, 2007 # No Comment Yet
It has come to the attention of Turd on a Stick that no sports stars are giving thanks to the dark under lord Satan. After almost every goal or touchdown, it seems that modern sports stars give thanks and praise to God by either kissing a cross pendant on their necklaces or they kneel down [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ December 25, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Christmas is a time of year to shop and consume, and little baby Jesus in that manger would suck on the Virgin Mary’s tit. The three wise men (the three stars in the constellation Orion’s belt) had nothing better to do than wonder around at night and find some illegitimate child to give gifts to. [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ December 24, 2007 # No Comment Yet
After their December 10th London, O2 Arena show, we have to wonder what kind of black magic Jimmy Page has spun out to the world or how much money Led Zeppelin’s public relations people used to pay off the press. Robert Plant couldn’t hit the notes and Jason Bonham just blows and isn’t even close [...]
Turd Furgeson @ December 22, 2007 # One Comment
How the fuck are you supposed to feel good about not having enough tax dollars left over for health care when you read garbage like this?
The hope (once shared, we admit, by this newspaper) that the West’s armies could return swiftly home and leave good order behind them was naive. Saddam Hussein and the Taliban [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ December 18, 2007 # 3 Comments
PHILADELPHIA - Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania have found that communists have no sense of humor. The study, which was carried out over a 3 year period on 1,000 known communists, used common jokes, satire and even had subjects make their own jokes. After all the data was collected, the researchers then did [...]
Kool Moe Turd @ December 13, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Former American football player and current TV analyst Tony “The Goose” Siragusa, upset at the United Nations’ attempt to reign in U.S. hegemony, apparently decided to take action into his own hands and has eaten former United Nations Chief Kofi Annan.
However, Mr. Siragusa, a native of Keniloworth, New Jersey, was confused and did not know [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ December 12, 2007 # 2 Comments
While fellow Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee has incorporated NASCAR into his campaign and Mitt Romney has tried to use (not quite) subliminal messages in his campaign, Ron Paul’s supporters will use a blimp to garner support for Ron Paul in the upcoming New Hampshire U.S. Presidential primary.
Paul’s campaign plans to fly the blimp along [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ December 12, 2007 # No Comment Yet
U.S. Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is not backing away from quotes about homosexuality that he made in 1992 while running for the U.S. Senate. Instead, he has upped the ante so to speak.
Get your “AIDS Kills Fags Dead” t-shirts and remember homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle. We need to take steps [...]
Kool Moe Turd @ December 11, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Still looking for that holiday gift for that special someone?
Well, look no further! Whiteny Housturd’s One Wish, The Holiday Turd is jammed pack with all of her Christmas favorites like One Wish (For Crack Cocaine), and Have Yourself a Coked Up Christmas.
Bill O'Turdly @ December 11, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Are you tired of waiting for that war in Iran or just simply confused about why Iran is an enemy of America and cannot have a nuclear program to meet its energy needs?
Well, do we have the solution for you!
Back in 1976, during the Gerald Ford presidency, with Dick Cheney as chief of staff and [...]
Bill O'Turdly @ December 10, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Looking for that special stocking stuffer?
This holiday season, tell your friends and family how you really feel about America by giving them a set of Klu Klux Klan drink coasters. The brothers of the Klan are just as concerned as you are about your coffee table getting water damage.
What are you waiting for? Act now [...]
