Let us feed you our turds!
We Are the New Banner on Pitchfork
After listening to the marvelous texture and musical tones of the latest Turd on a Stick release “We Are the New Banner on Pitchfork’s Website,” this reviewer was simply enthralled by the 3 tracks on the album that I cared to listen to. After fast forwarding through the other 7 songs, I decided that this album was in the top echelon, echoing the likes of Deerhoof, Of Montreal and Menomena, destined to become an instant indie rock classic because my pretentious review will solidify them to our loyal readers.
The first track on the album “Turd Sandwich” is a musical parable that conjures images of both Ryan and Bryan Adams in a track meet with our golden child here at Pitchfork: Deerhoof. With no musical knowledge other than how to use the remote control on my stereo, I jump to the sixth track on the album, skipping the next 4, well because they don’t reify my opinion of this new subtle giant of indie rock: Turd on a Stick (TOAS). What a joy it is to hear the lush ambience and out of control frenzy that comprises this wonderful track: “Pretension.” Pitchfork could not have created a better track even if we tried. The irrelevant referencing, feigned musical craftsmanship and knowledge is abound in the signature cut. I wish there could be more albums like this.
Compared to the overly busy and eclectic acts like OOIOO, who actually show musical talent and diversity, TOAS exemplifies a cooler than you approach that will spurn anyone other than us cool people at Pitchfork. Working with a slick know-it-all approach and the savvy of a turtle, TOAS are poised to become the darlings of indie rock challenging the likes of all those bands who only care about the quality of their music.
With the final track of the album clocking in at a staggering 5 minutes, this reviewer’s attention span was overwhelmed. A sonic assault of toilets flushing and turds spinning down the drain sets this track apart from the rest. TOAS delivers a heartfelt dose of pretension without compromising its aesthetic of complete ignorance.
It is hard to imagine a band reaching these lofty heights again as TOAS have with this debut album. Like Big Black, Mission of Burma or even the Boredoms opened this much new territory in their careers. TOAS, are set to become the new banner atop the Pitchfork website. We here at Pitchfork love the pure pretension and the audacity of TOAS. It so inspires us to propagate our musical agenda upon anyone who cares to read our illustrious website.