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Friday September 3rd 2010

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Posts Tagged ‘Dancing with the Stars’

Paris Hilton Wins TOAS Dancing with the Stars »

Paris Hilton Wins TOAS Dancing with the Stars

LOS ANGELES -- Paris Hilton has won the first ever TOAS Dancing with the Stars. The 26 year old heiress beat a star studded field of has been actors and a homophobic former NBA player to receive the first prestigious Turd on a Stick award. Miss Hilton cited all of her drunken dancing at parties as the source of her inspiration. In a statement to [...]

The Lorenzo Lamas Controversy »

Well, one thing that we didn't count on with our hit TV program, TOAS, Dancing with the Stars, was the devilish ways of one Miss Paris Hilton. When told that she was contractually obligated to perform on TOAS, Dancing with the Stars and not the ABC version of the hit TV program, the young heiress began to lobby for more men with hot abs. So, [...]

Richard Simmons Confirmed »

Richard Simmons is now confirmed for TOAS, Dancing with the Stars. Known for his campy weight loss videos "Sweating to the Oldies," as well as his trademark candy-striped Dolfin shorts and tank tops, Simmons has already been assigned his first dance partner. Gushing with emotion in a way that only he can, Simmons told TOAS, "I am so excited to [...]

Paris Hilton Confirmed »

Paris Hilton has been confirmed to participate in TOAS Dancing with the Stars. In what appears to be an error, the young heiress to the Hilton fortune has committed to TOAS thinking it was the ABC version of the hit TV show. Saying that she was overwhelmed by the chance to get even more attention, she even offered to perform her hit remake of [...]

Hardaway Probable »

Fresh off his "I Hate Fags" American tour, Tim Hardaway has entered negotations with TOAS to join the already illustrious line up of TOAS, Dancing with the Stars, which includes Adrain Zmed, the Dancing Dwarf, the bald Britney Spears, and Vanilla Ice. Citing the questioned sexuality of Adrian Zmed, Hardaway reiterated his stance by saying: "You [...]

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