In a week of high drama at an economic summit meeting, American, British and French officials declassified some of their most closely held intelligence and scrambled to describe a multi-year Iranian effort, tracked by spies on the ground and satellites above, to build a secret uranium enrichment plant deep up Barrak Obama’s ass.

Addressing reporters today after what he called a productive G20 summit in Pittsburgh, Mr Obama said:

I know this sounds a bit preposterous and strange but Iran has been building a secret uranium enrichment plant up my ass. This plant, which is still being built, was disclosed not by any US or European intelligence scoop but rather by Iran’s own voluntary declaration and also the discomfort I now feel in my rectal region.

Simply put, Iran has not been breaking any rules but rather it has been following Article 42 of Iran’s Safeguards Agreement with the IAEA, and Code 3.1 of the General Part of the Subsidiary Arrangements (also known as the “additional protocol”) to that agreement. Further, following the conventions of this agreement with the IAEA, Iran is obliged to inform the IAEA of any decision to construct a facility that would house operational centrifuges, and to provide preliminary design information about that facility, even if nuclear material had not been introduced.

This then confirms that Iran is no closer to producing a hypothetical nuclear weapon today than it was prior to Obama’s announcement concerning the Iranian uranium enrichment facility that is up his ass