Jesus the carpenter speaks out against McCain
Bill O'Turdly, October 25, 2008 # No Comment Yet
LIBERTY, MISSOURI - Jesus the carpenter has spoken out against John McCain. The hard-nosed carpenter, unmarried, yesterday criticized the McCain campaign for using his name in vein. When asked about his criticisms Jesus had this to say, “I’m sick and tired of the stupid bitch Sarah Palin jumping up and down in church claiming that [...]
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The Holy Land Delusion
Bill O'Turdly, August 26, 2008 # No Comment Yet
The Ark of the Covenant has been discovered in Orlando, Florida for only the cost of $24.95! In an amazing and dumbfounding discovery The Holy Land Experience brings the fictional Holy Land to life. Come see the pagan mythology that Constantine officially sanctioned in action!
It is an inspiring, full day of delusion that [...]
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Somebody please frame this Nazi Asshole!
Bill O'Turdly, July 2, 2008 # No Comment Yet
We here at Turd on a Stick still have not achieved our goal of getting this Nazi off the air.
If you are able to do this Turd on a Stick is offering you and a companion free airfare to Bangkok, Thailand.
Interested?
All you have to do is frame Bill O’Reilly in a cheap hotel room [...]
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No love for Satan?
Bill O'Turdly, December 28, 2007 # No Comment Yet
It has come to the attention of Turd on a Stick that no sports stars are giving thanks to the dark under lord Satan. After almost every goal or touchdown, it seems that modern sports stars give thanks and praise to God by either kissing a cross pendant on their necklaces or they kneel down [...]
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Put the X back in Xmas
Bill O'Turdly, December 25, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Christmas is a time of year to shop and consume, and little baby Jesus in that manger would suck on the Virgin Mary’s tit. The three wise men (the three stars in the constellation Orion’s belt) had nothing better to do than wonder around at night and find some illegitimate child to give gifts to. [...]
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The Jews are in it with the Gays and Pedophiles
The Reverend Bill T. O'Turdly, September 27, 2007 # No Comment Yet
America is being attacked from all angles and we need your help to stop it. If it is not the goddamn Arabs, fags or Jews then it is the blacks, or those damn occultists who practice sexual licentiousness-pedophilia and satanic bondage.
The homosexual activist movement and organized pedophiles are linked together by a common goal: To [...]
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Insults that Make No Sense
Bill O'Turdly, July 18, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Well, we just received another great nonsensical insult, but I am not sure if it was directed at my man T. Furgeson or myself…
The Lord Jesus has told us everything we need to know.
One of those things is that Satan’s Helpers would persecute us, including calling us things like “turds.”
No, the Lord didn’t say “turds” [...]
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Mexican Man Receives a Message from Jesus
Bill O'Turdly, July 12, 2007 # One Comment
Miguel Antonio del Chavez of Guadalupe, Mexico has recently received a message from Jesus Christ, while he has cleaning a statue of Jesus in his local church. Mr. Chavez was able to recount what Jesus said:
I was just a rebel Jew who was opposed to the existing Jewish aristocracy and the Roman governing of [...]
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How to Be Rich and Have Everything You Ever Wanted
Bill O'Turdly, May 7, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Tired of being poor? Tired of being behind in your bills? Tired of being at the bottom of US hegemony?
Well look no further!
Simply, apply the 7 keys to prosperity and these powerful spiritual truths and begin turning your dreams into reality today!
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Al-Queda, There When You Need It
Bill O'Turdly, May 1, 2007 # No Comment Yet
BAGHDAD — Like a Mastercard card, Al-Queda is there when you need it. Even cheaper than showing footage of a nuclear cloud, you can say that you killed a recent leader of Al-Queda in Iraq. Simply find some photo of an Islamic cleric on a google image search and add it to a hot [...]
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Jesus’ Last Words
Bill O'Turdly, April 30, 2007 # No Comment Yet
JERUSALEM — Archaeologists have uncovered a new found scripture, which documents Jesus’ last words.
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Jesus Walked These Hills
Bill O'Turdly, April 22, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Robert Tilton talking to God, drawing close to God, so that people’s needs will be met. Just make sure to call Robert to release your inner faith.
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