Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’
75% of Arkansas high school students believe Jesus »
LITTLE ROCK, AR -- Researchers at the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville have recently discovered that that 75% of all Arkansas high school students believe that Jesus and his apostles travelled the Israeli hillside on the backs of brontosauruses. The study, which was carried out over a two year period, used questionnaires to determine the [...]
Jesus the carpenter speaks out against McCain »
LIBERTY, MISSOURI - Jesus the carpenter has spoken out against John McCain. The hard-nosed carpenter, unmarried, yesterday criticized the McCain campaign for using his name in vein. When asked about his criticisms Jesus had this to say, "I'm sick and tired of the stupid bitch Sarah Palin jumping up and down in church claiming that I am helping [...]
The Holy Land Delusion »
The Ark of the Covenant has been discovered in Orlando, Florida for only the cost of $24.95! In an amazing and dumbfounding discovery The Holy Land Experience brings the fictional Holy Land to life. Come see the pagan mythology that Constantine officially sanctioned in action! It is an inspiring, full day of delusion that takes [...]
Somebody please frame this Nazi Asshole! »
We here at Turd on a Stick still have not achieved our goal of getting this Nazi off the air. If you are able to do this Turd on a Stick is offering you and a companion free airfare to Bangkok, Thailand. Interested? All you have to do is frame Bill O'Reilly in a cheap hotel room with at least an eight ball of cocaine, two prostitutes and [...]
No love for Satan? »
It has come to the attention of Turd on a Stick that no sports stars are giving thanks to the dark under lord Satan. After almost every goal or touchdown, it seems that modern sports stars give thanks and praise to God by either kissing a cross pendant on their necklaces or they kneel down and genuflect in the Lord's honor. Furthermore, after [...]