Jesus’ Last Words
Bill O'Turdly, April 30, 2007 # No Comment Yet
JERUSALEM — Archaeologists have uncovered a new found scripture, which documents Jesus’ last words.
LA Times Sports Columnist Is a Transexual
Bill O'Turdly, April 27, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Mike Penner has been a sports writer for the LA Times for nearly 23 years. In a statement saying that his brain has been wired as woman’s brain, Penner said he would now like to be known as Christine Daniels.
After informing his boss, Randy Harvey, of the change, Harvey leaned back in his chair, looked [...]
Good News
Bill O'Turdly, March 26, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Before there was Donnie Davies, there was Burton Quim.
Holy Shit! World’s Heaviest Guitar Player: A Japanese Woman
Bill O'Turdly, March 25, 2007 # 2 Comments
A long time favorite of TOAS: all hail to the power of Wata.
American Parenting at Its Best
Bill O'Turdly, March 15, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Andrew Riley faces 128 felony charges that include theft, vandalism and intimidation, but he is no adult; he is a seventh grader. Riley, 13, is accused of burglary, theft, stolen property and vandalism. It stems from a crime spree that the Athens County, Ohio assistant prosecutor said lasted a year.
“He’s so young, we need to [...]
WWE Smackdown - Bush vs Chavez
Bill O'Turdly, March 11, 2007 # 5 Comments
Holding a a dead squirrel above his head, Venezualan President Hugo Chavez calls US President Bush a hypocrite.
“When the US President says now that he’s worried about poverty and Latin America and that he’s come to help, you’ve got to to say “hypocrite” to him,” Chavez said to a crowd of several thousand in Trinidad, [...]
Please Don’t Touch Yourself
Bill O'Turdly, March 9, 2007 # No Comment Yet
In honor of Bill’s upcoming relocation to Tokyo this summer, we give you this gem from engrish.com.
TOAS - Deer Turd
Bill O'Turdly, February 21, 2007 # 3 Comments
Unless you’ve been living under a rock that is itself under a larger rock– or you’re not a TOAS fan– the TOAS story should have a folkloric familiarity to you. To read a blog or webzine in 2007 is to hear the tale of two brave lads from Philly and Detroit who bypassed the Byzantine [...]
GHFIHGP, The New Alliance
Bill O'Turdly, February 20, 2007 # No Comment Yet
This just in: Tim Hardaway and Donnie Davies have formed an alliance against gay people called God Hates Fags, I Hate Gay People (GHFIHGP).
Donnie Davies Returns
Bill O'Turdly, February 19, 2007 # No Comment Yet
You may be wondering what our pal Donnie has been up to lately.
Our New Strategy, Monkeys
Bill O'Turdly, February 19, 2007 # One Comment
Since we are cashing in from all the Google adverts, we held another high tech video conference in order to shape the future of TOAS. During our last great meeting, we decided to go, well, with a midget as our direction. However, that only led to a complaint from the former US Secretary of State, [...]
Mormon Manga
Bill O'Turdly, February 18, 2007 # One Comment
Well, it seems that those wonderful people at the Church of Latter Day Saints are getting ready to kick Ultraman’s and Astroboy’s combined asses. In what appears to be a blatant attempt to rip off Michael Moorecock’s Elric series and its subsequent comic books, Brant and Doug Peery are trying to round up all the [...]
