Bill O'Turdly, October 9, 2007 # 3 Comments
DEARBORN, Mich. - Republican presidential hopefuls Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani quarreled over their penis sizes Tuesday, each claiming greater commitment than the other in a debate in the nation’s [...]
Bill O'Turdly, August 28, 2007 # No Comment Yet
WASHINGTON – U.S. Senator Larry Craig is a conservative Republican who has voted against gay marriage and opposes hate crimes legislation that would extend special protections to gay and lesbian crime victims.
However, he was busted for lewd conduct in a men’s toilet at the Minneapolis airport. Craig has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges and his [...]
Bill O'Turdly, August 25, 2007 # One Comment
Supplies are limited. Purchase your set today and keep those pesky kids from asking questions.
Bill O'Turdly, May 8, 2007 # No Comment Yet
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Bill O’Reilly may proclaim at the beginning of his program that viewers are entering the “No Spin Zone,” but a new study by Indiana University media researchers found that the Fox News personality consistently paints certain people and groups as villains and others as victims to present the world, as he sees [...]
Bill O'Turdly, May 6, 2007 # 4 Comments
SHARM EL-SHEIKH, EGYPT — In a warning to “those Dirty Tree Fuckers,” Condoleezza Rice has admitted that she is in fact a drag queen with an enormous cock. During her first face-to-face talks with Syria’s Foreign Minister Walid Muallem, Rice also admitted to bitting the dicks off 137 men and 3 dogs. While it still [...]
Bill O'Turdly, May 1, 2007 # No Comment Yet
BAGHDAD — Like a Mastercard card, Al-Queda is there when you need it. Even cheaper than showing footage of a nuclear cloud, you can say that you killed a recent leader of Al-Queda in Iraq. Simply find some photo of an Islamic cleric on a google image search and add it to a hot [...]
Bill O'Turdly, April 19, 2007 # No Comment Yet
In light of the recent premeditated shooting spree by Cho Seung-hui, which killed 32 people and himself at an American university, and the sensational media coverage that it has spawned, we here at TOAS offer you a real American sociopath: the US government.
This past week hundreds of people have been killed in Baghdad, with over [...]
Bill O'Turdly, April 15, 2007 # No Comment Yet
WASHINGTON — US Senator John McCain said that the buildup of American forces in Iraq represented the only viable option to avoid failure in Iraq and that he had yet to identify an effective fallback if the current strategy failed.
“I have no Plan B,” Mr. McCain said in an interview. “If I saw that doomsday [...]
Bill O'Turdly, April 13, 2007 # One Comment
In a bold move, it seems that Thailand has decided to screw the global pharmaceutical industry. The health ministry of Thailand has announced it will make or import cheap generic versions of three patented drugs, one of which is the anti-HIV/AIDS drug Kaletra. The health ministry has said that it wants to cut the cost [...]
Bill O'Turdly, March 25, 2007 # No Comment Yet
WASHINGTON – TOAS has intercepted a top secret message from US President George W. Bush to the rest of the world.
Bill O'Turdly, March 19, 2007 # 3 Comments
This image was provided to us by those lovely folks at Hammer Uncut.
Bill O'Turdly, March 15, 2007 # No Comment Yet
Further establishing himself as a pawn in the global hegemony of the United States, Australian Prime Minister John Howard (pictured with US Vice President Dick Cheney) has made an unannounced visit to Afghanistan to meet Australian troops and to hold talks with the country’s president, Hamid Karzai.
Speaking to Australian soldiers at the Camp Russell base [...]
